The Family Fully Alive

"Love"

Fr. Pinto Paul is the International Director of the Boston-based Holy Cross Family Ministries. In this role, he oversees the programs and services at centers in 17 countries

This month, as we are celebrating Father’s Day, I would like to invite you to make your families more alive with love by taking a few lessons from Joseph, the person God Himself chose to be the protector and guardian of the family of Mary and Jesus. Pope Francis in his apostolic letter, Patris Corde (With the Heart of a Father) identifies some of the diverse roles and responsibilities that St. Joseph assumed as a father. And the Pope invites fathers today to reform their lives by drawing from the life of St. Joseph.

What are some of the practical lessons that we can draw from St. Joseph, especially for our fathers?

First, St. Joseph teaches fathers can make their families more alive with love by being present in family life. Joseph and Mary were involved at each stage of Jesus’ life as he grew in stature and wisdom. The absence of father a figure from the life of children due to over concentration on work can make the children feel orphaned. Parents need to “waste time” with their children.

Second, St. Joseph teaches fathers can make their families more alive with love by teaching children obedience to God. Joseph taught Jesus obedience when he accepted God’s plan for their family. Today’s fathers can also teach obedience to their children by obeying God and letting their children see God’s plan working in their lives and family.

Third, St. Joseph teaches fathers can make their families more alive with love by being firmly proactive. St. Joseph was proactive not reactive. He set aside his own ideas and accepted God’s plan. In our families, we should follow the example of St. Joseph, who was open to God and accepted God’s will for him when God called.

Fourth, St. Joseph teaches fathers can make their families more alive with love by providing protection for their families. He protected Mary’s reputation before her baby was born, and took his family to Egypt when Herod threatened to kill the baby. Pope Francis said the coronavirus pandemic has heightened his desire to reflect on St. Joseph, as so many people during the pandemic have made hidden sacrifices to protect others, just as St. Joseph quietly protected and cared for Mary and Jesus.

Fifth, St. Joseph teaches fathers can make their families more alive with love by being faithful. He was chaste and faithful to Mary, protecting her from "public disgrace" and being part of her every situation. Families today need the security of knowing their parents are faithful to each other and to their children.

Sixth, St. Joseph teaches by his example that fathers can make their families more alive with love by being respectful and sensitive to their spouse. Pope Francis says in Patris Corde (PC): “Today, in our world where psychological, verbal, and physical violence towards women is so evident, Joseph appears as a figure of a respectful and sensitive man.” (cf.PC. p. 18)

Seventh, St. Joseph teaches fathers can make their families more alive with love by playing the role of a father in the growth of a child. In our context many fathers mistake their role as a father. They try to be a ‘buddy’, ‘equal’, or ‘peer’ to their child instead of playing and exercising the parental role. This is not healthy. St. Joseph played an active parental role in the growth of his son Jesus. He journeyed with them, leading them away from dangers to a safe home. He can help us help our children a safe path to follow, core values to imbibe and hope to sustain.