The Family Fully Alive: With Joy

Fr. Pinto Paul is the International Director of the Boston-based Holy Cross Family Ministries. In this role, he oversees the programs and services at centers in 17 countries.

During this month of Advent leading to Christmas, I would like to invite you to make your families more alive by experiencing the joy that the baby Jesus was born to bring to us and by sharing this joy with the other members of your family.

The biblical definition of joy says that it is a feeling of good pleasure and happiness, that is dependent on who Jesus is rather than on who we are or what is happening around us. Joy comes from the Holy Spirit, abiding in God's presence and from hope in His word.

This joy was experienced by

Blessed Virgin Mary when an angel told her she would have a baby and name him Jesus

John the Baptist who leaped in his mother’s womb, when he experienced the presence of Jesus in Mary’s womb.

Shepherds who heard the angels sing announcing Jesus’ birth

Wise men who saw his star and came to visit him

Anna and Simeon in the temple who recognized Him as the Messiah

John the Baptist when he saw Jesus coming to him in the desert

The disciples when they saw Jesus after he had risen from the dead

People who encountered the disciples wherever they went (Acts 8:8)

And Jesus wants us to have it too. He wants us to know that joy depends on our relationship with Him and on our knowing His Word and keeping His commandments.

Of course, we want this joy, and we want to know how to get it for ourselves and for our families.

In his book Joy of the Gospel, Pope Francis says, “The joy of the gospel fills the hearts and lives of all who encounter Jesus. (p. 7). Then we ask, “How do we encounter Him?”

We encounter Him in nature, in others who know Him and in His Word. As families, we need to appreciate nature together and recognize it as God’s creation.

We need to know Jesus ourselves and provide our children with opportunities to be involved with people who know or have known Jesus. Children of all ages should witness their parents praying for grace before meals and learn a child’s bedtime prayer as early as possible. They like the ones that rhyme and can memorize a number of lines very early. And they should witness loving relationships between their parents and older siblings. They should hear “please,” “thank you” and “I love you” regularly and “I’m sorry” when appropriate. And hopefully parents will be part of a community of people who know Jesus and involve their children with these people who keep His commandments and show love to each other.

And we need to know God’s Word. Jesus said that if we keep His commandments, His joy will be in us and our joy will be complete (Jn. 15). King David said he had hidden God’s Word in His heart so that He would not sin against God. St. Paul told Timothy to “study to show himself approved to God.

Studying the Word of God, hiding it in our hearts and applying its teaching in our lives takes time and effort. As individuals and as parents, we must work on it. The opportunities for families are multitude. Of course, children should attend mass with their family, especially a mass with a children’s homily or a time in another room for the gospel on their own level. As they grow, they should move along into classes for their age and grade levels. And discussion of lessons should be family activities.

Families who want to be more joyful can try the following activities.

Family Activities

Talk

As a family, get out an album of baby pictures and talk about how happy everyone was to have a new baby in the family. If cards received at the time have been saved, friends and relatives can speak for themselves as you read the printed lines and the handwritten notes.

Relate the joy that we experience today when a baby is born to the joy that Mary and Joseph and the shepherds and angels felt when Jesus was born and the joy His birth brings to us today.

Play

As a family gather with neighbors and friends to watch a Christian Christmas video or movie. Then talk about the message it conveys. Watch videos, spend time with people who are happy. Remember joy comes from keeping others ahead of yourself.

Work

As a family make Christmas cookies or some other item that can be shared with friends, neighbors, or someone in need. Draw the name of a family member or friend and make a gift for him or her

Pray

As a family, pray to be led to someone to whom you can bring some joy this Christmas. Then pray for yourself and the person as you plan something you can do for the person. Pray for insight into the need and for ways to meet the need. Pray for tact in offering your assistance. Pray for wisdom about repeating your offer if the need continues.