A Listening and Compassionate Heart makes a Good Father

Friends, one of the outstanding traits of the Syro-Malabar community that I have observed, is the active role husbands and fathers play in the faith of the Christian community and the family church at home. I wish more men of other backgrounds shared this distinctive quality. In this short reflection, I would like to offer a response to the following question:

“What is the most important quality of a good father?”- A Listening and Compassionate Heart makes a Good Father.

Saint Benedict advised the monks, his spiritual sons, to listen with the “Ear of the Heart.”

In this season dedicated to fathers, let’s go right to the heart of what makes a good and successful father! James B. Stenson, in his little book, Successful Father, offers the following 12 traits of good fathers:

1. Successful fathers have a sense of supportive partnership with their wives.

2. They think long-term about their children’s future character as grown-up men and women.

3. They frequently talk with their wives about their children’s character strengths and weaknesses.

4. They frequently discuss things with their children.

5. Of course, such fathers listen to their children as well.

6. Successful fathers keep television watching to a minimum.

7. They see discipline, not as a punishment or mere behavior-control, but rather as a means of building their children’s self-control.

8. Successful fathers are confident of their authority.

9. Successful fathers seem to have some close friends.

10. Successful fathers frequently have a deep and active religious faith.

11. Successful fathers teach their children to be ‘poor in spirit,’ i.e., do not let material goods dominate their hearts.

12. Finally, the most successful fathers always put their families ahead of their jobs.

In the letter to the Ephesians, we hear these beautiful words about our heavenly Father: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavens.”

Speaking to parents, James B. Stenson says: “Your sacred mission, the vital core of your vocation, is to light a fire of love for God in the heart of each of your children.” Doing so is the greatest gift a father can give his children. With this gift comes the great hope of eternal life. What a glorious mission and what a mega gift God the Father has bestowed on us, giving us every spiritual blessing in the heavens to fulfill our vocation!